Solamente en Paraguay...

Only in Paraguay...is an expression I hear a lot around here. Usually when something weird happens. So the following are some random thoughts and experiences about my life here. Only in Paraguay.

--The greeting… in Paraguay it is customary to kiss on both cheeks when you greet someone. (Except men just shake each others’ hands.) Well, you don’t actually kiss, you just touch cheeks and make kissy sounds in the air. Sometimes I think this is a nice custom. Other times I think I would rather not have everyone’s face touch my face. Kind of gross, especially when it is hot. I also think it is prone to awkward slip-ups like accidental nose bumps and misplace kissy sounds. But when in Rome…

--The dancing… Latin folks are know for their love of the dance, and their ability to move in ways that (most) Americans just cannot manage. But we try and we have fun, even if we do look very white in the process.

--My ipod… makes my life better. Everyday. Like when the bus I need to catch passes me by because it is so full of people that no one else will fit. Like when I am so tired of listening to Spanish all the time that I need to hear something familiar. Like when there is a soccer match going on so the whole city is noisy and I want to study. All the time. (The ipod charger was an excellent gift—thanks Lisa and Jessica!) Here I crave music like food or water. I am listening to my ipod… right. Now.

--Text messages… in the United States I am vehemently opposed to text messaging in nearly all situations. I feel it is communication for the faint-hearted. But here in Paraguay the cell phones work differently. You pay as you go, and text messages are much cheaper than calling. So I send text messages all the time now. Usually in Spanish.

--The mullets… are very popular here. Sometimes subtle. Sometimes carefully mussed like the trendy versions in the U.S. Sometimes long and proud like a member of the NHL (quick shout-out to Nikki!). It is hilarious. Even more hilarious: Jon got a hair cut here and now he has a glorious mini-mullet of his very own. I told him to keep it because it makes him look more Paraguayan. Also, because I think it is hilarious. When he is giving me a hard time, all I have to do is mention his “waterfall” and he shuts right up. Fantastic.

--The Spanglish…it just happens. Either because we don’t know words, or the words don’t exist in the other language, or it is just easier. Especially when it is just the Americans hanging out, we slip into Spanglish very naturally. Spanish is also messing with my English a bit. We have caught ourselves saying English sentences with Spanish construction. Things like: “How many are we?”, “His friends I like.”, “Do you know Buenos Aires?” (meaning have you been there), “He didn’t present me!” (meaning he didn’t introduce me). Hilarious. But my favorite example of Spanglish, by far, came in the form of a text message. I was at Jana’s house, but she didn’t come to the door when I rang the bell. I sent here a text message to let her know that I was there. The message I received in reply was: “Un momento. Estoy naked.”

--The staring… I am (almost) used to being stared at all the time when I am in public. It turns out that I am rather white looking. Plus, I have short hair, which is unusual for Paraguayan women. Plus, my hair is a bit reddish. Plus, I am cute…just kidding. Katie and Jon can almost pass for Paraguayans because of their dark hair, but Jana and I are not so lucky. I don’t even care much about the staring, as long as it is silent. But there is a certain segment of the male population (called maleducados) that insist on honking, whistling, hollering, cat-calling, and just generally bothering women, especially foreigners. Everyday. So annoying. Fabri (my Paraguayan brother) tried to teach me how to say “What the eff are you staring at?” in Spanish. It is probably for the best that I can not seem to remember it.

--The food… in Paraguay is not so good. I have had a lot of questions about the food, so here it goes!

Baked empanadas are the “traditional” food I like the most. They eat a lot of meat and starch from what I can tell. I miss my veggies… Mandioca (yucca root) is a staple here that I have grown fond of. It’s kind of like potato, but drier and more fiberous. Not bad. I tend to eat about one square meal a day, at lunch time. In the morning and evening I have coffee and a little something, like bread with dulce de leche. They love dulce de leche. It is like caramel but better. I like it. They eat dinner much later here, around 9 or 10pm. I have not adapted to the late dinner very well—I just don’t feel like eating that late.

Other traditional foods include:
Sopa paraguaya. The solid soup which dates back to the time of Don Fernando Lopez, a famous ruler (from…I don’t remember when). Anyways, the story goes that the Don wanted a new soup to serve a special guest from another country (I don’t remember which country either….no importa). The chef attempted to make a soup with corn meal, cheese, onion, chicken broth, and other stuff, but let it cook too long, until the corn meal soaked up all the liquid and it was like a bread. Fortunately, the king and his guest liked the unusual soup, and this bread is served in every house. I can’t say I like it, but I am forced to eat it regularly by well-meaning hosts.

Matte/Tedere/Cocido. Herbal drinks that are very popular here. Matte and tedere use the same herbs, but tedere is served cold. Paraguayans have special thermos and mug combos that they carry around, which include a straw with a little filter on the end so you can drink straight from the mix. They are kind of cool looking. Matte is okay, but cocido is gross. I’m glad they have coffee too, although I usually have to drink instant. (Shena and Nadine, shed a little tear for me now, please.)